So I was reading about this terrible double suicide bombing in Russia this morning.  Then I scroll to the very bottom of the post and guess what I see:

Nothing quite says “classy” as putting “Female Suicide Bombers” on a marquee above a photo of a car burning (and don’t forget that Nat Geo logo).

Oh, where did I see this you ask?  Check out the bottom of the grab.  Nice work, AOL.  Check it out here.

Yeah, I care about the terrible tragedy in Haiti — it’s awful what people are going through and the stories of pain and suffering are unimaginable. But you know what else was unimaginable? That idiotic telethon put on by George Clooney and company (and by company I mean his 60 or so Hollywood buddies who manned the phones).

Hello, Reese Witherspoon, is that you? I’d do you.

Yes, those phone discussions were only one of the silly moments of the somewhat dour affair, which seemed like a wake (which I guess it was sort of like).  But I prefer the rock concert benefits (Farm Aid excepted) and this was far, far from that.

And one little additional note:  Yes, I think you think you are being cool by not naming anyone.  If I am supposed to give a shit about who you are, at least tell me your name so I can make fun of you properly.

Ever get a parking ticket you didn’t agree with.  Mr. Chi-City has.

So I happened to be checking out FoxNews.com today — what could be more fugd than that — and one of the top headlines was live coverage of a dog rescue in the LA River. I’m sure the rescue was worth the tens of thousands of dollars it cost LA County, but apparently someone didn’t explain what was happening to the dog. From watching the video (here) it looked like he bit the hell out of the rescuer.

Oh, he did bite the hell out of the firefighter who carried him to safety. No good deed…

So, if you can believe this, it looks like MTV super-reality-pseudocelebrity Heidi Montag has had *gasp* plastic surgery.  You don’t say?

See if you can tell the difference below.

A&E orders Hasselhoff reality series

I don’t really care about David Hasselhoff.

Graco Recalls Strollers Due to Fingertip Amputation and Laceration Hazards

Okay, I think it’s safe to say I’d sue these guys to high heaven if my son’s fingertip was cut off…

Florida police charge Anna Kournikova’s mother with child neglect

I think everyone agrees with me on this:  Anna Kournikova has a five-year-old brother?  Holy crap.

Photo: Allen Eyestone/The Palm Beach Post